Since this is Friday the 13th, I have shifted gears from the utilitarian-type gift suggestions I'd normally make for last-minute Father's Day gift buyers. Having been through a few Father's Days, I can tell you that the gifts that gave me a belly laugh are far more memorable- although no more appreciated- than the shirts, ties, and assorted clothing items I've received. And I'd appreciate your not sharing that with my daughters since I've already gotten a pair of nice golf shirts.

If you're looking to give your dad something different and he's into shooting, I have good news for you. I have three or four suggestions I am absolutely certain he will find memorable.

First, the folks at Think Geek(www.thinkgeek.com) have gone all-in (or all-out) to assure your favorite mall ninja has his tactical gear together. They've had some serious fun with the whole over-usage of the word "tactical". As a guy who believes you could paint a shop broom black, call it "a tactical street sweeper" and sell 10,000 of them, I think it's a genius idea. I also think it is a needed shot at those of us who think there's only one good color for useful gear: black. Matte black if possible.

Having played with two of their products, I know they have fun in mind -and so should you on Father's Day. What could be more fun that equipping Dad's inner-ninja with -wait for it- a tactical tie.

http://www.theoutdoorwire.com/image_archive/2155809.jpeg> OK, I had to put it on to demonstrate it, but I didn't have to show my face. Ninjas stay in the shadows -but their lasers shine forth - even if they're mounted on a tactical tie. For the record, don't shine a laser beam into a mirror unless you pay close attention to where it's headed.

A Tactical Tie? Yep, it's not exactly the tie you'll see at Brooks Brothers, J Press or even Joseph Bank, but it's one $29.95 tie everyone will remember.

This tie says "Tactical" like a murdered-out Suburban. It's a lightweight (ballistic, of course) nylon number that sports a pouch with a laser, an upper pouch attached by clips and molle web straps and has a D-ring at the top-just in case you feel the need to hang something else around your neck (like an "I'm with stupid" sign, maybe).

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The Tactical Lunch Box If your idea of tactical eating isn't an MRE warmed under your armpit, here's the item that will carry your food in true tactical style. It's a lunchbox that says "when the zombies attack, I'll grab this-and my bug-out bag- and be OK" like no other. This little $29.99 item is a black nylon lunch box with molle straps, a top strap for grab-and-go, 3 plastic D-rings, a tactical thermos (in what looks like radar-absorption paint) with flow-control top, two removable side pouches and my personal favorite -the Tactical Nourishment Pack. OK, it looks like a reusable sandwich bag, but you get the idea.

The best feature is the full-front velcro patch which quickly identifies this black bag. It says: LUNCH.

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Tactical Pizza Cutter ($23.99-on sale now). When I saw this one, I knew it would resonate with the food theme for Fathers Day. The TPC is billed as being "laser guided, compatible with Picatinny-rail systems (a Zombie Apocalypse add-on for your battle rifle after dinner, maybe), has a Class II laser pointer -with flashlight, and, unfortunately is not mil-spec. It's NOT dishwasher safe, although we prefer to say it's not tested to be submerged up to 28-inches for three cycles of extremely hot water.


OK, here's the bad news. The folks at thinkgeek.com aren't guaranteeing next-day delivery, but you can do the next best thing and create a "your surprise is coming" card for your Dad. It will be a lot like those cards you tossed together on the way over to the house that year you forgot it was Father's Day, but this one will really have something coming along behind it.

Take my word for it, dad won't mind-and the shock and thrill of seeing a package really arrive- with a cool gift inside- will make another day for him next week.

And if you've not already tuned out, here's a gift for the very serious gift giver. If your dad is a shooter, there are only two names that cause genuine genuflection when they're mentioned (unless you have been to Gunsite Academy, then there are three names): John Moses Browning and Samuel Colt.

No Browning gear, here, but there is a historical auction of signed documents going on today that will include three "historically important hand-annotated documents signed ("Saml Colt" and "Samuel Colt") that are Mr. Colt's personally retained signed-drafts of various improvements to his 1836 patent for "revolving cylinder guns".

The three documents are displayed in a Moroccan leather case embossed with, appropriately enough, a smoking six gun.

http://www.theoutdoorwire.com/image_archive/2155808.jpeg> Six historical documents, each signed by Samuel Colt, outline the improvements in his "revolving cylinder firearm" patent. Image Courtesy of Profiles in History with permission.)

This isn't a gift for anyone except the exceptional father -or the gift from the kids who are worried about being written out of the next revision of the will. According to estimates in the Profiles in History catalog, the Colt documents are estimated to bring between $60,000 and $80,000.

If those are a little sporty for your budget, there are -seriously- items in the $100-300 range and the historic figures range from Ghandi to Mohammad Ali, Alexander Graham Bell, Orville Wright and John Wilkes Booth.

To learn more about the Profiles in History auction- which is going on today- you can visi www.profilesinhistory.com/auctions/historical-auction-63/ . If you see something you like, it's not too-late to register and get involved in the online portion of the auction.

A word of warning- auctions are infectious -and you have to remember your limits and stay inside them.

We'll keep you posted on the auction next week.

This weekend, plenty of kids will tell their parents how special the time growing up together really was.

I'm going to let you in on a father's secret: it wasn't just a pleasure for us -it was a privilege.

Have a great weekend.

--Jim Shepherd